A Link Between Heart Health and Optimism

Check out this great article about a meta-analysis (when the data of multiple studies on the same subject are statistically analyzed to see if the treatment effect is consistent) done on the relationship between heart health and being an optimist. This could be because optimists naturally have better health behaviors, like good sleep and exercise, but nevertheless, the risk gets reduced by 35%!

Need help working on your optimism? Therapy can go a long way in helping you understand the irrational beliefs behind negative thinking and how you can replace them with healthier alternatives. This can be the first step in managing your expectations, noticing when you assume the worst outcomes, and working on unconditional acceptance of the world around you. You can still assess for risks while being optimistic!


Do you go to therapy during work hours?

…”at work, there is often still a stigma attached to therapy. Talking with your friends about going can be far easier than talking about it with the manager who decides your raises and promotions. And the vulnerability you create when you share that you do therapy can be used against you.

Bringing up your therapy appointments to your employer requires anticipating your boss’ reaction and having a plan prepared.”

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Your 20s Are a Big Deal!

Our 20s are a crucial time in our lives. It is the decade where we become independent, are expected to decide our vocation, find a mate, explore our sexuality and be "functional" adults. That's a lot of pressure! We can often overlook how important the time after graduating college can be. Keeping up with our own expectations, comparing ourselves to others and keeping face that we are always okay is really tough. How can we develop good mental health habits so we can cultivate our best lives?

The first step in maintaining good mental health is remembering the above- post graduation is a crucial time for self-identity with a lot of pressures involved, so be kind to yourself. This will require patience and acceptance. Staying mindful of this situation can go a long way in staying grounded and positive. There is a lot of research to support that mindfulness improves mood and outlook.

Don't stay in your own head- rumination can reinforce depression and anxiety. Reach out for support where ever and how ever you can. Get a fresh perspective. Turn to anyone in your support network who you know will give you empathy and acceptance. If you find that the support is not helpful, turning to a mental health professional is a great way to learn how to process your feelings in a non-judgmental space. Therapy can go a long way in helping you learn coping skills and challenge the patterns that aren’t working for you (and how to change them!).

Remember that we often times don't end up in careers and life paths in the typical way we'd hoped. We'd like to try and plan ahead, but we ultimately can't control what's going to happen. What we CAN do is transform our relationship with the difficult feelings we have during this process and know that they are normal and valid. We can also learn to manage our expectations, making sure to set realistic goals. Draw from as many resources as you can to take you through this experience. It's good practice for the inevitable difficulties that lie ahead. If you work on your tolerance and self-care now, you'll be better equipped to maintain a healthy, positive mindset in the future.

Self-Love in the Era of Pride

EVERY human has the right to self-expression. The fight to be recognized and accepted takes strength, endurance and most of all, self-love. Fighting so vehemently, for so long, can only come from an inner acceptance of the self. Although the struggle is far from over, we are living in a time where all genders, preferences and colors are starting to be recognized. When the LGBTQIA folks model self-love, it forces society to increase it’s recognition and acceptance of others.

Self-love means giving yourself a break and accepting yourself unconditionally. We are all prone to difficult life situations, but they do not take away from our value as humans. If we cannot accept ourselves, with all of our baggage, we can never achieve self-love. 

Learning to love yourself takes time. Often times, our self-deprecating words and thoughts are directly tied with how we love and accept ourselves. Sometimes, we have to undo years, if not decades, of negative self-talk, difficult childhood experiences and traumas. Going through this process alone might not be the best idea. It is very difficult to objectively look at yourself and shut off the negative self-talk that got you here in the first place. Therapy and support groups can be good tools for this journey. Staying in your own head doesn’t bode well- sometimes you need an outside perspective to reinforce your worth. Be compassionate to yourself in this process because it’ll be uncomfortable. Don’t set time restrictions on your progress and lean on a good friend or supportive family member when needed.

The LGBTQIA community can teach the world a lot about unconditional self-acceptance. Pride month is not only a time to revel in all the progress the community has achieved. It’s also a time to celebrate and appreciate the tremendous strength it takes to love yourself no matter what.

The Wall Street Journal says young folks are more inclined to go to therapy

Note from Dr. DeMarco - As soon as I read or hear the word “millennial” I almost immediately dismiss the rest of the sentence. But if young people are seeing therapy as a normal part of life, then it’s a good thing. Therapy and counseling is for anyone, and isn’t a luxury. For some of us, it’s essential to trying to make our way while we’re still on the planet.

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What to expect in relationship counseling

“Deciding to go to couples therapy can help you get things under control and help you de-escalate your conflict so you can see, as objectively as possible, if this is the relationship for you. But to do that, our couples counselors follow a process that has shown time and time again to be effective. “ (Click for Complete Article)

MyTherapist New York offers modern effective relationship counseling and sex therapy in NYC.